Wednesday, May 28, 2008

uncle jake

I am procrastinating. It is my fourth favorite thing to do besides: kayak, hang out with mera and eat. I should be over at my apartment doing the last of the packing... the *worst* of the packing I should say. I saved a few of the least appealing tasks for last and now I'm digging in my heels for a few stolen moments of denial before I head over there to try and finish it off. For now, I'll enjoy this nice cold beer and tell you all about the hot sex me and Mera had this morning.

First of all, I just wanna put it out there that I don't even have an Uncle Jake. Fortunately. And neither does Mera. Uncle Jake was this morning's awesome fantasy. It's a frequent flyer for me and Mera, though the details often change. This morning we both found ourselves awake at 5am as light seeped in through the window we'd forgotten to cover the night before. I rolled over and buried my head in the pillow and Mera started tickling my back.

Not only is back tickling my favorite feeling on the planet, tickling my back opens all sorts of doors for the tickler... if you know what I mean... and I'm sure you do. I mean: if you tickle my back a little while, you can get anything you want out of me. ANYTHING.

So Mera was tickling my back and I was in heaven and completely unconcerned about being up so early and knowing I'd be underslept if I didn't fall back to sleep soon. Who cares about that stuff when you're in heaven? I was busy being blissed out while Mera's back-tickling took a very slow but exhilerating turn for the naughty. Pretty soon I could hear Mera muttering behind me, "I'm your 36-year-old uncle and I'm visiting from out of town. You're 15. I haven't seen you in years..."

It went on like that until we both had some orgasms and went back to sleep. I mean, I'm not going to give you an absolute play-by-play, I just wanted to introduce the fantasy: incest. I'm a firm believer that a person absolutely cannot control or predict the things that will turn her on. Obviously you can control your ACTIONS. So, if you happen to be so unfortunate as to find yourself turned on by prepubescent girls, you may not be able to control the attraction, but you can control the action.

But fantasy-land is an absolute free-for-all and no taboo is taboo here. My favorite taboo fantasies tend to involve incest and coercion. I don't really have any particular *actual* family members in mind in these fantasies, I'm usually just fantasizing about a generic older male relative having an inappropriate encounter with a generic younger female. It usually isn't even me. And in my fantasies I often switch my point of view from the girl to the man and back again.

However, when I'm actually engaged in a fantasy with Mera during sex, I tend to take on the role and stay there. It's kind of interesting, though, because Mera's focus tends to be less kinky than mine and I often adjust the scripts slightly in my own mind to keep myself interested. For example, Mera likes to be the older uncle with the hot, pubescent niece who is nervous but eager to be fucked. It's not so complex. Me: I like it a little more fucked up. Where Mera wants me to be 15, I'd prefer to be 12. Where Mera wants me to be secretly longing for her cock, I'd prefer to be a slightly unwilling participant slowly coerced and ultimately forced into the action. See: fantasy.

Even though my fantasies tend to go a little further than Mera's, the material generally overlaps, which I think is very fortunate. There's nothing worse, in my mind, than having fantasies that are utterly repulsive to your partner. I feel extremely lucky to have a partner who is not only willing, but who is very proficient at talking through stimulating and complicated sexual fantasies and who is never freaked out by the sketchy twists I like to put on things.

That Mera's a keeper.

And now I'm off to my apartment to pack. Please, please, please post comments with anything you'd like to share about your own fantasy worlds. Do you have fantasies that freak out your partner? Do you and your partner act out any elaborate role plays? How far have you taken it? Thanks in advance for sharing, you guys rock.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

maybe i should put my own "swell" spin on this...

I've been tagged! Grumpy Granny nailed me on one of those amorphous, "10-things" memes. I will admit that I love being tagged and I mostly love memes, though I have shied away from these blank-access memes because they aren't concrete enough to be easy. I have a hard time pulling ten ANYthings out of my head, I'd prefer my meme questions to do more of the work.

But my vanity wins out and since I'm so flattered to be tagged, I'll give it my all. Here's the deal, as cut and pasted from GG:

"Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird/random/odd facts, habits and goals."

Since this is supposed to be a sex blog, I feel morally obligated to write about ten weird random SEX facts, habits or goals. Maybe, if I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll write a non-sex version on my non-sex blog. We'll see. But you know... now that I think about it, there might not even BE ten weird sex facts that I haven't already shared. Hmm.

Ok, here goes:

1.) My girlfriend, who I love dearly, who is a super hot top and who fucks me like nobody's business, has never actually given me an orgasm. I know, I know -- nobody GIVES you an orgasm, an orgasm is a gift you give yourself, yadda yadda. But you know what I mean. Plenty of people on this earth have managed rub my nubbin to the point of climax. Not my gal. She's strong on the strap-on, which I appreciate, but if I orgasm during sex with her, it's because I'm touching my own clit while she fucks me. Which is 95% fine with me, though that other 5% is waiting for her to branch out just a little...

2.) One time, an old girlfriend of mine straddled my legs while I was on the toilet and peed between my legs. The pee didn't actually get on me, but I could sort of feel it skimming my pubic hair. I haven't done it since, but it was strangely, inexplicably hot.

3.) In addition to fetishizing penises, I have a very strong attachment to leather daddies and bears. I. Love. Them. In fact, I was just in a very nice magazine shop that carries porn (Counter Media near Powells downtown) and the guy behind the counter was a bear, then a few of his big bear friends came in and I was beside myself with happiness. I wish they would adopt a cute little dyke to be like their little "brother" and hang out with them... and watch them have sex.

4.) I went to a men's leather bar in Columbus Ohio one time and kept getting cruised by guys who thought I was a smooth, young twink. At first I thought it was awesome and then I got sad. The complete and utter disinterest that followed the realization that I was a chick was pretty depressing.

5.) I once went down on a woman who was so filthy in her parts I almost gagged.

6.) I have had sex with 28 women in my life. None were one-night stands, but some were mistakes.

7.) I have goals. I want to explore public sex, like sex in sex clubs for example. Mera and I also talk sometimes about trying somehow to enter the sex industry. In addition to simply making porn, we've considered the possibility of fucking in front of people for money. We've thought it all through, actually, and would recruit a transman to be our "handler" as it were, finding us clients (who would most likely be straight men) and chaperoning us on the "date." We are both aware that this probably makes a hotter fantasy than reality.

8.) I have taken over 500 naked and nasty pictures of myself in the past few months, all for Mera. This is the first time in my life I have taken lurid photos of myself. I love it.

9.) I have engaged in chat room sex in the past. With a dude. Once. It was disgusting.

10.) When I was around 9, my best friend Sue and I used to do this masturbation thing together which we called "pussying ourselves." We'd take rubber bouncy balls and roll them all over our parts, usually with our hands shoved down our pants, laying on twin beds in the same room. We did not think this was weird or inappropriate.

Ok, there you go. Hope that wasn't too painful or gross to read. Not sure who to tag at this point, so tag yourself if you feel inspired. And you don't have to write about sex, so don't worry. :-)

Sunday, May 18, 2008


This is the second beaver I've seen while kayaking... the first was swimming along near the boats. This one was better...

Usually we see cool birds and stuff on our paddles... this is not the kind of natural beauty I was expecting to see today...

Monday, May 12, 2008


Today I bought a green, vintage metal suitcase for Mera and I to put our sex toys in. Mera has mentioned several times how much she'd like to keep our toys in a cool trunk or box of some kind. Her real fantasy is to have a James Bond-y sort of suitcase with foam inside, cut out and shaped perfectly to hold each toy in its place.

That's a pretty tall order and unlikely to manifest any time soon. Instead, I've been keeping my eyes peeled every time I drive by Rerun, a consignment shop on Fremont. My (soon to be former) apartment is just off Fremont and I drive by Rerun a lot, so I've got plenty of opportunities to scope out all the junk they pile into the parking lot every day. Today I caught sight of this awesome green suitcase as I drove by, so I circled the block and parked.

From the street it looked like a trunk... it still looks like a trunk, actually. But it's really a suitcase and it was only ten bucks! The tag had "$18" crossed out, then "$14" crossed out and then "$10." What a bargain! When Mera gets home from work tonight we're gonna load it up. Between us, we've got quite a collection, but the suitcase is pretty big and I'm sure all the empty space will inspire us to buy even more to fill it up. And really, there's nothing like the sight of a whole bunch of sex toys all in one place.

Right after I left my crazy ex, way back in early 2006, I dug out my bag of toys and dumped all my silicone gear into the bathroom sink for a scrub down. They'd all been cleaned after use, of course, but they were dusty from lack of use and I also felt the urge to purge any bad vibes from my previous relationship. I took my Terra Firma harness apart and scrubbed every nook and cranny, and each dildo, butt plug and vibrator got a good soaping. When I was done, I lined them all up on the bathroom counter to dry. Maybe the tiny bathroom counter was to blame, but that brightly colored little army of sex toys looked massive and amazing. So much promise! So exciting!

Alas, that little army went back in the bag and much of it didn't see the light of day for almost two years. Fortunately that's changing, however I have to admit things aren't completely perfect over here in Shagri La. I love Mera and the sex is totally hot... when we have it. And we haven't been having so much of it these past couple of months. There are lots of factors at play: Mera's schedule is awful for starters. She's in school full time and she works two jobs. She's not superhuman, after all. There's also the sexual identity crisis I've written about. Mera's coming to grips with a relationship that is unlike any other she's had before -- in a good way -- and she's slowly re-imagining herself as a slightly more dimensional sexual creature. Which is awesome, but also, as I said, slow. As for me... I'm mostly raring to go. :-)

Using the sex-toy suitcase will help. The case will add another layer of ritual to the sex, which Mera and I will both appreciate. The case will become like a sexual totem, a power object all unto itself. Just being in the same room with it will remind us of the possibilities and will maybe inspire our sexual creativity. Maybe the case will be like an aphrodisiac...?

Maybe I'm putting too much on the case. Who knows. What about you? How do you store your toys? Underwear drawer? Or somewhere more unusual and inspired? Do you have other toy related rituals? Please share. And I apologize for my recent lack of polls, I promise I'll try and think another one up soon...