Wednesday, May 21, 2008

maybe i should put my own "swell" spin on this...

I've been tagged! Grumpy Granny nailed me on one of those amorphous, "10-things" memes. I will admit that I love being tagged and I mostly love memes, though I have shied away from these blank-access memes because they aren't concrete enough to be easy. I have a hard time pulling ten ANYthings out of my head, I'd prefer my meme questions to do more of the work.

But my vanity wins out and since I'm so flattered to be tagged, I'll give it my all. Here's the deal, as cut and pasted from GG:

"Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird/random/odd facts, habits and goals."

Since this is supposed to be a sex blog, I feel morally obligated to write about ten weird random SEX facts, habits or goals. Maybe, if I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll write a non-sex version on my non-sex blog. We'll see. But you know... now that I think about it, there might not even BE ten weird sex facts that I haven't already shared. Hmm.

Ok, here goes:

1.) My girlfriend, who I love dearly, who is a super hot top and who fucks me like nobody's business, has never actually given me an orgasm. I know, I know -- nobody GIVES you an orgasm, an orgasm is a gift you give yourself, yadda yadda. But you know what I mean. Plenty of people on this earth have managed rub my nubbin to the point of climax. Not my gal. She's strong on the strap-on, which I appreciate, but if I orgasm during sex with her, it's because I'm touching my own clit while she fucks me. Which is 95% fine with me, though that other 5% is waiting for her to branch out just a little...

2.) One time, an old girlfriend of mine straddled my legs while I was on the toilet and peed between my legs. The pee didn't actually get on me, but I could sort of feel it skimming my pubic hair. I haven't done it since, but it was strangely, inexplicably hot.

3.) In addition to fetishizing penises, I have a very strong attachment to leather daddies and bears. I. Love. Them. In fact, I was just in a very nice magazine shop that carries porn (Counter Media near Powells downtown) and the guy behind the counter was a bear, then a few of his big bear friends came in and I was beside myself with happiness. I wish they would adopt a cute little dyke to be like their little "brother" and hang out with them... and watch them have sex.

4.) I went to a men's leather bar in Columbus Ohio one time and kept getting cruised by guys who thought I was a smooth, young twink. At first I thought it was awesome and then I got sad. The complete and utter disinterest that followed the realization that I was a chick was pretty depressing.

5.) I once went down on a woman who was so filthy in her parts I almost gagged.

6.) I have had sex with 28 women in my life. None were one-night stands, but some were mistakes.

7.) I have goals. I want to explore public sex, like sex in sex clubs for example. Mera and I also talk sometimes about trying somehow to enter the sex industry. In addition to simply making porn, we've considered the possibility of fucking in front of people for money. We've thought it all through, actually, and would recruit a transman to be our "handler" as it were, finding us clients (who would most likely be straight men) and chaperoning us on the "date." We are both aware that this probably makes a hotter fantasy than reality.

8.) I have taken over 500 naked and nasty pictures of myself in the past few months, all for Mera. This is the first time in my life I have taken lurid photos of myself. I love it.

9.) I have engaged in chat room sex in the past. With a dude. Once. It was disgusting.

10.) When I was around 9, my best friend Sue and I used to do this masturbation thing together which we called "pussying ourselves." We'd take rubber bouncy balls and roll them all over our parts, usually with our hands shoved down our pants, laying on twin beds in the same room. We did not think this was weird or inappropriate.

Ok, there you go. Hope that wasn't too painful or gross to read. Not sure who to tag at this point, so tag yourself if you feel inspired. And you don't have to write about sex, so don't worry. :-)

4 comments: said...


It's gonna take me a while to come up with mine b/c I too have a problem with pulling info outta the air. LOL

As for the toilet thing I never did that but I did sit on Jess' lap one time while she was on the toilet peeing.

And yes.... I thought it was fucking hot! :P

EmpressJeneya said...

This was kick ass...
I enjoyed it all.

south carolina girl said...

"I once went down on a woman who was so filthy in her parts I almost gagged."

Damn, girl! you know, it is your right to say "Hell no!" at any point during sex.

reasonably prudent poet said...

tina-cious -- thanks! i never could figure out why it was so hot... i guess i'll have to try it again for research purposes...

empress -- thanks, i wrote it all just for you.

scg -- i had to get down in it before i realized it was so bad. that's when i pulled the plug on it, so to speak.