Wednesday, February 13, 2008

a quick word on trust

I was just rereading that last post on control and domination in the context of strap-on sex, and I realized I left out something very important. Without trust, none of what I wrote about would be possible. All the throwings down and poundings, etc -- those are all powered by trust.

I trust Mera with my body completely. She's proven herself to be a good steward of my body, but deeper than that, there's something powerful in our chemistry that seems to hold us in a magical place of mutual trust that has been there from the beginning. I don't quite understand it, I just appreciate and enjoy it.

I think it's this level of trust that allows me to relax, to open my body up, to hand myself to her on a platter and say "here you go, I'm all yours." Despite the dominance, I know she'll stop if I say stop, she'll slow down if I say slow down. I know she'll listen. And that's the secret behind her so-called dominance: she only dominates me with my permission. Dominance and submission between us is a kind of play that we only take seriously because we want to.

Regardless, none of it would be possible for me without trust.

And by the way, what happened to all the comments??? You guys were rocking on those first two posts, but now it's nothing but crickets and tumbleweeds! Doesn't anybody have anything to say about any of this? Even an "ewwwww," or a "wow," or a "boooooring?" Nothing? Really?


roro said...

Maybe we're all too busy blushing and panting. Did you think of that? DID YOU?

not drowning waving said...

ok RPP here's a comment that i am excited to make. hope it is not too personal.
knowing you and loving you as i do, it is SOoooooooo good to read this blog and feel you and your deep places in amongst it all. (friends, RPP and I remain super good friends, in touch, not just through blogging! just so you know)... and what is so good to read is something about the 'truth' of our life's processes and the relief of literally reading you 'in your flow'.
i am so impressed that we hung in (and continue) with our own loving ways, and SO happy to read of your new loving ways because you are now so close to things that i could not journey with you well...

i love you hugely and am really pleased you have this trust, this passion, this awesome blush-pantingly creative sharing with Mera - can't wait to meet her!!
hope this is not too personal.

not drowning waving said...

PS: you can read my support and enthusiasm in all those "SO's" :-)

Anonymous said...

Jumped over here from RSG's blog, the mentioning of the word 'sex' was what did it.

I think we'll try a strap on, thanks. :)

Zoe said...

Aside from a dominance just being plain hot, there is an interesting psychological component. It is about trust, but also gaining control, and power, or it's givig up control and power. What I find intresting is who gravitates to what role is usually counter to what most people would think. For a little OCD control freaks like me, it's about giving up the control and power, while for my quiet can't say no to anyone gf it's all about having power and control. And giving up that control takes a lot of trust.

reasonably prudent poet said...

roro -- i see your point, just don't hyperventilate.

sk -- thanks! you're definitely not being too personal, i mean, look at what *i'm* sharing!

tracer -- welcome! i'm always excited to meet new readers. good luck with the strap-on, they can really be fun.

zoe -- you're TOTALLY right in your assessment that it's the quiet, meek ones who tend to take control in the sack and it's the aggressive, domineering ones who like to be controlled. strangely, though, mera and i don't fit that profile. but i've seen that profile play out in other places and i know it's true. interesting. thanks for weighing in.