Sunday, March 2, 2008

back to being rosy (in more ways than one)

Thanks for all your comments on that last post. It was really interesting to read what everyone had to say about conflict in relationships and also interesting to see the results of the poll. Not a single person voted for hot make-up sex, which I found to be surprising. Maybe that's some kind of hetero myth that I'd somehow absorbed...? Who knows.

Anyway, I'm happy to say that Mera and I are back on track. We had lots of hard, heart-to-hearts over the week and one more flare up on Friday night, which was the beginning of the end of conflict. That last flare of fighting was the equivalent of the fever breaking when you're sick. We both crossed big edges and came out on the other side much stronger and closer. Now I'm excited and feeling all gooey inside again.

Finishing up the fight on Friday night led us to a weekend of fun times and a return to hot sex. Thank god. We even visited the toy store again for some creative browsing and a butt plug for me (we'll save the discussion of anal play for another post). We even made one impulse buy: a special strap you can use to hold up your partner during rear-entry sex. I forget what it's called, but I'm sure "doggie-style" is somewhere in its name. We haven't used it yet, I'll let you know how it works out.

We did something new this weekend, something I highly recommend and that we plan to do again. We went to sleep last night with Mera wearing a cock, "just in case." We were both pretty sleepy when we hit the hay at 11:30 -- we'd had a long day and we'd just come from a fabulous dinner with a couple who are close friends of Mera's. We got home tired and stuffed and not much in the mood for monkey business, though we'd both been looking forward to it.

Mera's solution was to put on the cock, tuck it into her briefs, then curl up in bed with me and go to sleep. Of course there was a little hanky-panky before we both dozed off, but it didn't go too far and I fell asleep with the very promising sensation of Mera's silicone erection pressing gently against my thigh.

Somewhere around 5am, we both woke up. This happens often with us, it's one of my favorite things in our relationship. We both wake in the night and spend an hour or so chatting. It seems like a terrible sleep disruption, and in a way it is, but I still enjoy it. It's intimate and sweet and especially lovely to fall back to sleep again together. This morning, however, was obviously different. Instead of a friendly chat, we ended up having hot, crazy sex, all because Mera went to sleep wearing a cock. It was awesome. I can't wait to do it again.

This morning, however, Mera came back from her morning pee to announce that she'd started bleeding. She's a tiny bit early, but I'm probably still right behind her. We've managed to stay totally synced up since we got together. For us, this means we probably won't be having much sex for the next week. I'm not completely opposed to sex while I'm bleeding. I'd prefer to avoid sex the first couple of days when the pain and bloating are bad and the bleeding is heavy. However, the last few days aren't so bad and sex is fine then, if a little messy.

For Mera, as the predominant giver, sex while bleeding is only possible when the flow is light and the cramps are minimal. Which is tricky, because lately Mera's periods have been extra long and extra hard. She went to the doctor and got a clean bill of health -- the doctor thinks her periods have been more difficult because of stress. Considering that Mera works two jobs (40 hours a week total) and goes to grad school full time, not to mention she cares for a special-needs foster dog and is trying to keep a new relationship afloat, it's understandable that Mera's feeling a little stressed. It's just a bummer.

I started wondering, this morning, how other ladies feel about sex during the bleeding-times. Honestly, being fucked while I'm bleeding hasn't tended to be my first choice unless I'm really close to my partner and I'm really turned on. Otherwise, I'd just as soon wait till things are back to normal down there. I guess there's some level of self-consciousness about it. And it's also a bit more trouble, since you have to take special precautions regarding the mess. Strangely, I'm much happier to fuck a person who's bleeding and would hardly think twice about it, so I guess the mess isn't really the issue after all...

What about you? I'd love to start this discussion out with another one of those handy little polls, but Polldaddy seems to be on the fritz tonight, so I'll have to skip it. Please feel free to comment and share your feelings about sex while bleeding, as the giver, receiver or both. And thanks, as always, for participating and helping make this site so informational.

6 comments: said...

I haven't had my period since 2001 (hysterectomy) so for me, periods are a non-issue.

But I have NO problem having "end of period" sex.... or even beginning-ish/middle period (with a tampon and just fingering).

The wife is taking a birth control pill called Yaz that's helping her with her PMS and is lightening and shortening her periods -- maybe Mera should try that so that her periods aren't so heavy?

Love! The idea of her sleeping with her cock.


south carolina girl said...

i am glad things are better.

Zoe said...

I/we don't have any issues with giving or recieving at any point during our periods. Which is a good thing since our synced uppedness is me starting when she's ending.

Grumpy Granny said...

Glad to hear you two are working things out. Yet another great topic. I'm pretty laid back about "bodily fluids". I've touched a little bit on G.'s aversion to (menstrual) blood. She had a hysterectomy in her 30's so hasn't had to deal with that. About 3 years ago, my periods started getting totally crazy. I'm talking OVERNIGHT pads every hour or so. It simply wasn't possible to even THINK about sex with that kind of bleeding. Fortunately, things have evened out recently, and I've even gone up to 60 days without having a period, so I'm HOPING menopause will be SOON. Plus, there's the downside of feeling repulsive to your partner because of issues that neither of you have control over. Her aversion to menstrual blood comes from old issues of abuse. We're both getting better--me physically, and her a bit more tolerant, even though I am very careful never to push things if I think it's going to bother her. I have to say, one of the things I was looking forward to in a full time lesbian relationship was more comfort around this issue, since lots of guys are squeamish about sex during a woman's period. But it's no big deal.

Now, the description of Mera sleeping with the cock..that was interesting! We have been looking at a thigh strap-on, too, since I think it might be easier on G's knees to ride my leg than to straddle me completely. We definitely need more research on this.

BTW--have you checked out

Have fun!


Unbalanced said...

Neither I nor my partner have a problem with sex during period, providing there's no painful cramps on her end. I don't really get cramps much and my bleeding is usually normal to light. Thankfully :D

Dharma said...

No problem for for either role while bleeding however I have a history of a very light flow that doesn't last long and almost no cramping ever.